If Things Had Been A Little Different
by Rubedo the Crystal Blood
Summary: In one moment, everything changes. For better or worse, in this reality everyone will have to live with the consequences.


Disclaimer: The following content is owned by Sunrise, Clamp, Bandai Entertainment, and Ichiro Okoochi. It is rated M for Mature and contains sexual content.

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Turn 07

The Discarded Mask

* * *

"You came here after all...?"

His finger, already halfway through the graceful motion of squeezing the trigger, ripped away, narrowly avoiding the full execution. The cold metal flicked back into position with a metallic snap. Lelouche gasped for breath. His first thought was that he had been caught trespassing by a Britannian official. But no, that was merely a poetic fata morgana of his own fear. Why would a construction worker be wandering around here in the early hours of the morning. And the chief architect would have no interest in the external support gaps.

When he looked up into her face, his eyes widened even more. Nunnally, eyes closed, seemed to be gazing down at him, wearing an expression of complete and demoralizing sadness. Although the mask remained, the face dissolved, the hair shortening. The soft and alluring voice continued unobstructed, cracking into the night.

"The place where Zero..."

Kallen Kouzuki hesitated.

"...the place where you began..."

* * *

_If things had just been a little different..._

* * *

Her eyes seemed to flutter anxiously, even though she never blinked, meeting his stunned gaze with solid steel. "Lelouche, there's something I have—Ah, that's—!"

"—Refrain—"

The needle, which now rested idly on his arm, was still ready to strike at any time. Lelouche's thumb still rested on the stopper. Smiling wistfully, Lelouche averted his gaze to the ground before his feet, maintaining his grip on the device, still positioning it against his arm as though waiting. "I think you understand its properties. You can go back to the way things used to be..."

For a split second Kallen didn't know what to say. Then, anger creased her forehead. In a loud voice she shrieked, "Don't joke like that!" Simultaneously her foot fell forward. Lelouche looked up in surprise. As he recoiled she seized the drug from his grasp and hurled it to the floor, crying, "So what if you failed once?! Just think of another plan to get her back, then! Command us like you always do!" Her frame shook with the weight of her words. "Pilot a Knightmare? Use bait?! I'll do anything you tell me to!" This last declaration she spoke vehemently. "Just—!"

"Then..." Something inside of him began to groan. "...comfort me..."

She stepped back. Her heart sped up a little bit. Lelouche stood up and pushed into her zone, edging her back until their faces were nearly level. Kallen looked up into his deep purple eyes, her face twisted between passion and confusion. She could feel his eyes raking her appearance from her feet to her legs, to her hips, chest, and waist, and then her face.

"That's something women can do, right...?" He palmed her face. Kallen exhaled.

Her heart had completely stopped. She didn't breathe in. Lelouche continued pressing forward, narrowing his eyes. Kallen's lip quivered, and she whimpered quietly. His breath... it wreaked of alcohol... and he smelled like sweat and dirt. But his eyes were sharp and clear like ice. If she was to stand by and do nothing, that ice would crack and fog. But if she blew away the mist and polished its smooth and perfect surface, she would be able to see into the darkest depths of his soul.

Maybe then, she would know if he had really never...

But that wasn't what she wanted now. Now she could feel the heat from his mouth blowing into hers. In ecstasy she parted her lips, resisting with all of her might the desire to simply suck it into her. She could feel her tongue darting within its cage. The hand slid down to her neck to rest on her clavicle, where he squeezed it gently. And even if all she really needed was a vice, then she could find out the truth as a bonus! Kallen shut her eyes, blacking out the world, a cry tearing at her throat. She swung her arm out violently!

_Crack!_

The vacuum between her lips and his left that generic "smacking" noise behind. At the same time, she lost all control of her legs, stumbling backwards, dragging him with her. As they fell, she felt her head collide with one of the steel beams. The scream never came out had been produced both of pain and of pleasure. She gripped tightly at his hair, pulling the roots yet anchoring his head to hers.

And then her heart exploded. Blood rushed through her veins, flaring her purpling cheeks to a bright hot red. Her insides churned and her muscles writhed and spasmed wildly. If Lelouche had been himself, would he have retreated from this open display of desperation?

Somehow she had the idea that he might have, but then, he might never have set himself for this in the first place, were he Zero. She had come to love Zero, but who was it that she had seen first? Was it Zero, or Lelouche? And even if Zero was the basis of Lelouche, he wasn't human. He was a symbol. A tangible entity did not have to be human. And where did she get off having such philosophical thoughts? Wasn't that Lelouche's job? Zero's?

There wasn't an answer to this question. She simply reached down into his coat and wrenched it free of his body. There was a slight tear where one of her hands had gripped it. Her head didn't hurt as much now, but then she hadn't thought to it at all. Supported by Lelouche, she slid herself up against the riveted steel and drew his cold body against hers. She shuddered, taking in his temperature.

His exposed arm draped around her neck. The cold seeped into her. He was sucking all of her heat away. That was just as well. She had a little too much at the moment, it seemed. Gagging slightly, she made to caress his head, which bobbed up and down as Lelouche bit her neck, making sport of the removal of her bra straps.

"When did you undress me...?" she asked weakly, breathlessly. The first words spoken, and quite shakily as well. Lelouche did not answer. She suddenly became aware of how cold the air was. Her nipples were already hard and erect as they emerged in the cold breeze. The undergarment undone, Kallen now took her own liberties in undoing Lelouche's coverings. "You stink," she commented, feeling a little bit awkward in the silence.

Contrary to her expectations, he responded. "You, on the other hand, smell heavenly. I don't think I've ever smelled anything like this." The words made her lock up. But the deed was already done. His chest was surprisingly warm.

He cradled her in his arms, raising her against the bar. She spread her legs of her own accord, hoisting up the shirt which now draped lazily from a single shoulder. There were no questions. She had never had sex before, and doubted if Lelouche had either. Had he? She didn't know anything about C.C, but thinking about her made Kallen angry.

Lelouche smiled sadly. He stroked Kallen's hip with his cold hand, feeling her seething hot bottom, trying to encompass the gravity of what he was doing. Where all lack of morality was, his love for his friends seemed to prevail. Was this love? Would he do this with anybody else? Certainly not Shirley, although he had feelings towards her as well. Milly would never allow it... she was engaged after all. C.C...?

But the deed was already done. At two locations, a trickle of blood ran down his flesh. It stung where her fingernail had grafted his skin, but he could feel the membrane sliding down along his shaft, still partially inserted into Kallen's seam.

She had done it so willingly. Even though she was in pain, she only cried. She did not scream, or shout, or even whimper. Those eyes that looked into his displayed only admiration tinged with the slightest remorse, or perhaps regret.

"It's for Zero..."

"It's all... for Zero," she whispered softly, stroking his cheek and giggling. As she did so, she heaved herself subtly upon him, balancing all of her weight in his arms. He struggled a little bit, but tolerated it.

"And... Lelouche...?"

She nibbled his neck and scoffed, as though the answer were obvious. Her breaths were labored now. "Lelouche Lamperouge is the man... Zero is the weight he has to carry. And I..." She kissed him passionately, clinging to that little bit of saliva and tasting it. "What am I for, Lelouche?"

He seemed to understand her, because he returned her efforts with his own. For a long time they said nothing. She only allowed herself soft little grunts and moans. The sky had become a little brighter now. Tiny little rays of sunlight trickled over the single sheet of fiberglass that had been righted over its place, like the streams of pleasure that tried to burst through the dam they had built between one another. Suddenly, Lelouche looked upon Kallen as he had never to another person.

"You are that place that Zero will return to when he is no longer Zero, and no longer Lelouche..."

At that very moment, everything faded...

"Kallen...?"

"Yeah...?"

"Can I ask you something...?"

"What is it?"

His hand wandered up to her navel, tracing the "V" around her sex.

"Will you go back to back with me?"

She opened her eyes, staring straight into the digital clock that decorated the hotel's bedside table.

"Back where?"

"To the academy... when I finish all of it..."

"'When' you finish all of it...?"

"Yeah..."

She smiled. He was back to normal now, if not a little more manly. She licked her lips, shivering as his finger met that little bump between her legs. _Salty..._

Kallen Kouzuki, the Ace of the Black Knights, sighed. "If things had just been a little bit different, I could have done that a long time ago..."


End file.
